Today

One day, One hour, One minute, & yes, even One second. Have you ever thought of the fact that an entire life is made up of these? Life isn't made up of what I am doing tomorrow or next year, it's made up of what I am I doing right now. So, I guess the question would be....What am I doing right now? That is one of the most interesting parts of my days. Sometimes I know and sometimes, I feel like I am just getting by. My foundation has been through a tremendous heartache and attack of fear and all I know is that it has not fallen completely, but that God is rebuilding and fixing the cracks and I am just waiting to see the outcome. I have moments of bravery where I feel like I can fly and am overcoming the obstacles and then I doubt and wonder if I really can or if it is going to be too painful and I start to look for the closets dark corner to hide in. I am really such a strange and sinful creature. Yet, God is so patient. He is my ever ready help. He never leaves me nor forsakes me. He understands my thoughts from afar. He has plans of good and not evil for me.
      I went to the redwoods with some friends yesterday. Strange, it never really crossed my mind how similar it would feel to May 5th. I forgot we were next to a river, that we would walk over rocks and trails and creeks. Today, one moment at a time I strive to live by grace and turn my thoughts to the Lord and let Him, in His time, heal my heart, mind, and recreate me as He wills to bring glory to His name. I can't make this journey alone. How hard it has been to get to a point where I can say that. On Christ Alone my hope is found. Today I will live by grace and believe in the hope of God's calling.