Ramblings

June 6th 2012 - How time flies and yet sometimes it seems to hold so still. It has been just over a month since the loss of Josh. It has set me on a journey I did not see coming. It has resolved areas in my life I didn't look at to see that I needed to face them. If has left me with questions. It has opened some of my deepest fears and God has gently started plucking away the scars to heal my heart and mind. I am opening my Bible and feeling the comfort of God start to wash over me. His truth giving me hope. His light illuminating a new path I am to take. I tend to like to have my life planned out. My day planner is crammed with things to do, people to see, places to go and yet....I can only seem to get by one day at a time. I do not know what tomorrow holds. I do not know what the end of the year will look like. I don't have the answer to all of my questions. It's like a puzzle and I only get a piece of it one day at a time. I did not know May 5th would come to a close without Josh. I do not know what tomorrow holds. I do not know when my last breath will take place. God does. Lord, take away my selfishness, pride, and strip me of fear and help me to live a life fully committed day by day to your glory and drawing near to you. In Christ alone my hope is found and in Him will I place my trust, He my ever present help.